i have a lot of things to talk, to share.
but what i wanna say..
my heart is in troubled!
by a lot of things.
like a mist surrounded my paths
i cant find a way out.
im troubled.
feeling sad
i cried
im confused.
just as what i am writing
i wanted friends
i have a lot of friends
but who can i really talk to?
on one i can talk to but only a few
who are in music min
but only to Jesus (as always)
i crying out to you daddy god
i opened my heart to you.
who are my friends
true friends
im confused
my heart is hurt
i want to be friends with everyone who i know long
even those i know for a few days or weeks
even serving or work together.
whom also i knew them before
talked before
in my heart i truly confirm some who are my friends
even the closest and even the best
even trusted ones
and even those who trusted me.
"some" i doubt
but these "some" i really take them as friends or even more than friends in my heart
but.. do they take me as..?
im thinking very unknowning
hurting myself
as thoughts coming into my mind
it's like killing me
i felt myself have no confident
weak
but i know im strong and bold in Christ Jesus! amen
i am very sorry
i also condemn myself
i know should not
because Jesus had taken this cost.
it is such a challenge to me.
but no matter what
overall i still love everyone!
who are the closer, the closest and the best one and the one i know.
whats my calling?
whats my desire?
im confused
where's my peace?
i need to rest...
no more interest in doing things
i dont feel like doing anymore
but is that what god planted in me?
i need a answer god
i know i will continue doing the thing(course).
but what is my call to be?
u told me when im 21years old i will know my call
but why?
ohh daddy god
you are the truth and the light and the way
grace is here
love is you
thank you abba
in you
i have unmerited favour
as you are the "third party"
there's bond is every relationships
i believe in you
even it's break
you are the god of grace
favour
you restores every good
in abundance
~confused...
